A Daring Adventure or Nothing

Throughout time there have been those who stayed home to farm and those who left home to conquer.

Those who went out into the world with a drive to explore. And those who, for whatever reason, held themselves back from true adventure.

Life is not for those who hold themselves back. To reach your grave safely, never having dared to do a great deed is no accomplishment. To go from birth to death without truly exploring the limits of your own constitution, your own character, and your own capacity is not a feat, but rather a travesty.

Yet, so few people accomplish what they desire. So few people travel the world. So few people actually tell the person they love how they truly feel. So few people dare to start a business or write a book.

Everyone says that they want to get out and explore. But their minds are all filled with phrases like “I wish I could do that” or “Wouldn’t it be nice if…”

Thoughts like that are cancer to your life. If you think something in that vein, you should turn 180º and think in the opposite direction.

You are either growing or dying.

You are either exploring or cowering.

You are either making waves or being knocked over by them.

The truth is, most people don’t do the things they want too in life because they never make up their mind to do them. They never focus on what steps need to be taken in order to get to where they want to go. They never choose to boldly go where no man has gone before, they flounder and indefinitely put off their dreams.

Instead of testing their own limits, they stick to the well trodden and mediocre paths of their forefathers and waste away like motes of dust drifting in a summer breeze.

That is a recipe for nothing other than failure. When you do what everyone else does, you get what everyone else gets.

Your life is going to be over sooner than you know it. Whether you randomly are killed by a freak accident or you are met with an early grave because you just gave up. You will be around for a while, but I bet that time will be shorter than you think.

So stop making excuses.

Stop doubting yourself.

Stop procrastinating.

You have no idea what you can accomplish if you quit wasting your own time on fickle momentary “needs” and truly worked on yourself. You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You hold the power.

Like Hellen Keller said,

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

 


If you like this content, feel free to share it. You can also engage with me on Twitter @paulrhobus, or email me at hobus.paul@gmail.com.

Shoot First And Ask Questions Later: AKA How Modern Discussion Works

Its no secret that as a society we are getting worse and worse at discussing problems. From falling literacy rates in colleges to the inability to compromise or agree to disagree. Our culture is daily becoming less and less capable of interacting with ideas that we deem uncomfortable or antithetical to our own beliefs.

This entire problem is ridiculous.

Think about how life would have gone if the United States had not been able to engage the Soviet Union in discussion throughout the duration of the cold war. You can bet we all probably would not be here. In May of 1960 Nikita Khrushchev, the Soviet First Secretary stormed out of a meeting with President Dwight Eisenhower. But what’s important about this is not that he left, its that he tried to discuss prior to leaving. And he didn’t go start World War 3 afterwards. He came back to the discussion table with someone he thought would be more able to talk with, which ended up being JFK.

Discussion is one of the best things about democracy. The practice goes all the way back to Ancient Greece where a system of direct democracy was used. This process has been continually refined and reimagined in order to come to the current representative democracy we have today. This ability to change and reorder the political system was not done by oppression or scare tactics. We got to where we are now because we talked and listened, we engaged in discussion with others even when we didn’t like what they had to say.

kitchen_debateAgain, look at how then Vice President Richard Nixon and Soviet First Secretary Nikita Khrushchev discussed the differences between capitalism and communism in their famous “Kitchen Debate.” This event is actually on film and can be watched here. These are two world leaders who have the collective ability to destroy the planet. So their discussion is tense, but it is ultimately an admission of them realizing that they have to learn to give and take from each other. They have to be able to communicate in order for any sane conclusion to be reached.

This is the problem we have today. Nobody wants to communicate. Everyone wants to be heard without having to do the hard part of listening to what the other person has to say. Everyone wants to be right, but doesn’t want to accept that nobody is perfect. Everyone wants their ideas to be universally accepted, so we only talk “yes men” who act as an echo chamber for our beliefs. This level of insular behavior is a huge negative when everyone partakes in it, because it closes the society off from its ability to weed out bad ideas and grow stronger. After all, if an idea is unchallengable, it is a precedent for totalitarian rule.

We need to be able to talk about the issues that we face as a society. If we are unable to create and continue discussion on a topic, that topic becomes a cancer to our ability to survive. Sure, not everything is comfortable to talk about. Sure, its easier to put your head in the sand. Sure, you can pretend that someone else will come along and solve the problem. But you are someone too, and as a member of this citizenry, its your job to help the rest of us and use the words you learned as a means of building a bridge.

So be part of the solution, engage with people you disagree with, challenge your own beliefs. Create discussion, because the more you do this, the more well-rounded of a person you will be. The more soberly you will be able to examine your life. The easier it will be for you to see the holes in your own logic. It will make you smarter, calmer, more confident. Listen to understand and appreciate the other person’s point of view, even if you could never agree with that perspective. As F. Scott Fitzgerald said,

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

Do yourself, and the world, a favor. Ask questions first.

 

 


If you like this content, feel free to share it. You can also engage with me on Twitter @paulrhobus, or email me at hobus.paul@gmail.com.

The Best Way to Expand Your Comfort Zone

Three days ago I crossed the equator for the first time in my life. This particular flight was from Los Angeles to Sydney. Upon landing in a different country, I realized that I would have to put myself outside of my comfort zone in order to get anything done. I don’t have my parents or relatives to back me up. I mean my girlfriend came with, so I am not alone, but she’s just as lost as I am. Luckily, everyone in Australia speaks english. I have yet to meet someone who is unfriendly. So this environment is conducive to growth in a strange way. The people are nice and they will want to help you, what really matters is your own mental game. I say this because I was standing outside of a grocery store thinking about how to ask the clerk where I could find sim cards in order to get online. I actually overthought this simple question. I was too in my own head. Too focused on what the other person would think.

This stopped when I actually made the choice to ask. I forced myself out of my head and into the real world. It was humbling to do this. Which is what I wanted to highlight. If you travel, you will have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. This will grow you. These situations will make you realize that you are just one person in a sea of others, all experiencing this shared journey called life. Forcing yourself to ask questions and make new friends will test you. It will encourage you to try new things. And these attempts will build on each other. Meaning, you will become more outgoing and confident.

In my case, I was pushed by the circumstances of needing information. I had to get out there and find out what I didn’t know. There was nobody else to do it. This is the beauty of travel. At some point, I would have to make the decision to let go of my comfort zone. After all, a turtle that stays in it’s shell never goes very far.

Going new places is all about expansion. To grow yourself through an increased understanding of what is out there. When an unusual circumstance arises, its a chance to become better. In the same way that, when a frustrating problem comes about, you can either view it as a bad event or as a good growth opportunity. Your mindset will determine your reaction.

I think a great example of this mindset shift is illustrated when my car doesn’t start. I have a 2006 VW Beetle. It has a diesel engine and lots of electrical problems. This means that during the winter, when its really cold in Minnesota, it doesn’t always start. So sometimes I will be stranded outside of a sleeping friend’s house at 2:00am with no way to get my car running and a dying phone. I can either complain and wake up my parents for help. Or I can realize that this is an opportunity for me to grow and expand my abilities. I can comfortably say that the car problems I experience are great vehicles for me to learn patience and maintenance.

Travel, by contrast, forces strange challenges on you in ever different ways. You may need to figure out where the nearest grocery store is. You may need to determine how much the food there costs when it is in a different currency and weight system. Either way, you’re going to be outside of your comfort zone or you’re going to fucking starve.

I’ll leave you with this quote that I really admire.

“Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”

Your comfort zone is just an illusion. Go do.

 


If you like this content, feel free to share it. You can also engage with me on Twitter @paulrhobus, or email me at hobus.paul@gmail.com.